for Jake to go back to school. It just doesn't seem like it is time. It has been so fun to just relax with him and watch a show together or play games. Summer went by too fast and now he has to sit through 7 hours of school and come home and we have to deal with 1-3 hours of agonizing homework. It just doesn't sound fun to me. Jake gets stressed ->which slows him way down at getting anything done -> which makes me stressed because I want him to get to bed at a decent hour -> which makes him more stressed -> see the pattern? He is a smart kid and does really well in school. There is just this big obstacle for him when it comes to doing his homework, and I think it happens at school too. He freaks out inside and it slows him down. Way down. It is weird to me with him because he is such a wonderfully capable person, and this doesn't show up with anything but schoolwork.
A half hour of homework can take up to 2 hours. No joke. I end up going upstairs to cool off just because the whole process is so dang frustrating.
SO... do I just take myself out of it? Just say calmly and reasonably that it is homework time and to start. Try not to be bothered when he is not doing it for 3/4 of the time or when he is sitting there staring off for 30 minutes between each math problem. Just let it go? Would that help him to take charge of it? He does care how well he does. But also gives up and just wouldn't turn something in if he thinks it is too much. And once that happens, he starts to feel behind and buried and the stress gets bigger. And there are also times where he legitimately needs my help. And then drama and trauma ensues. Why is it so hard? Do I just keep at it, trying to stay balanced between being patient and keeping him on task? What do I do when I am just not up to dealing with it all?? I guess just let him figure it out for himself. Or call Gram, or Anne.
If that doesn't work, can he come live with you during the school year?
It is funny - when he does homework with Anne (who does tutoring), he gets a ton done in a short time. AAAAAAAAAGGH what am I doing wrong?? Is it just a mom/son thing? If you have any ideas, please let me know. On the other hand, he thoroughly loves and needs the friends and social aspect of school and this gets even stronger as he gets older. He is a people person and it drives part of him a little crazy to be stuck home alone with just the two of us all the time. (Although he needs his down time too.) He thrives on being with people. I just need to somehow pull my head out of it and not stress when he is stressed so homework can go a little more smoothly for us.
Sorry this is so dang long. I even cut some out! And this format makes it seem even longer. Thanks for sticking with me, if you did.